Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in your life. The notion of choosing your other half or the one is the result of romanticising love. We rarely find out what happens after people finally get together in romantic comedies, and that’s why we need to know how to attract the right partner and build a love that lasts with the person. The search for that special someone should enrich our life and add to it, so let’s see how you can find a partner for life.
Everything starts with you
Are you the right person? Have you figured out what you want out of life? Do you know what you want to achieve in 2024? By the time you reach your thirties, your forties, fifties and so on? Who are you, and what you stand for? What are your passions? What are your deal breakers, negotiables and non-negotiables? Your journey to love starts with self-work. Mind you, you can work on yourself and still try to find a partner, we’re all a work in progress.
Do the work to heal
Healing from past love experiences and past trauma is necessary if you want to write a new love story without making the same old mistakes. Healing and rebuilding your life after a heartbreak is your homework before you decide to date again. Unless you do the work to heal, you’re at the risk of hurting yourself again or hurting others.
Define your deal-breakers and must-haves
When we’re clear in our intentions to find a partner for life, we know exactly what we don’t want. But, we also have to be clear, specific and to the point about non-negotiables and the qualities you absolutely must have in a partner. Write it down as a list and be as concise as possible. It would be great to sit down with a good friend or a psychotherapist to review this list to assess whether it’s realistic and to get an honest perspective. This will help you stay focused and avoid settling for less than you deserve.
Be open to new experiences
Great things happen to us when we are curious and open to new things. For example, if you hear that your friend had luck with gay dating through a professional matchmaker, it’s your cue to become curious about such an experience. Love can sometimes surprise us when we least expect it, especially when we ask a professional to pair us with people based on our values, goals, deal-breakers and non-negotiables.
Work on confidence and self-love
Try to enter the dating game with an abundance of self-love and confidence, as these are some of the most attractive traits. Invest in yourself and pursue your passions, so you’ll enter this pursuit with a glass-full mindset and be attracted to people who will add to your life.
Communicate your expectations clearly
Communication is the foundation of every relationship. If you want kids, be clear about this intention. If you want to date to get married one day, say it out loud. Be honest about your needs, and expectations early on, but also be flexible when it comes to negotiables. However, when it comes to your values, like having a family, don’t settle for less as that leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Don’t rush
Take your time getting to know someone before committing to a serious relationship. Even if your values align and you want the same things, take time to get to know the person before committing. Sometimes, we’ll fall into lust and confuse it with falling in love because of all the chemistry and attraction. So, take things slow, so you’ll know that it’s all about falling in love, not lust.
Go on dates
Dating is like any sport; you need to go to regular practice so you’ll be able to play the game of meeting men and going on dates. If you don’t practice, you won’t know how to play. This perfectly applies to dating as you’ll build your confidence and experience through different dates and learn how to curb your expectations.
Keep an open mind about different types of relationships
Love comes in many forms, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. Stay open-minded and embrace the diversity of human connections, as sometimes you’ll meet someone you’ll love for a day. Even though you are looking for love, some love stories might not last as long, but they will take you to a life story if you remember to keep an open mind.
Lastly, work on your emotional intelligence, as it is essential for navigating the complexities of relationships. Remember to stay true to yourself, trust in the process, and never give up on the quest for love that lasts a lifetime.